Where is that book, “How to Have a Perfect Relationship?” There must be some instructions, a handbook, a formula… I tried for years to re-create the myths of my youth, but I simply couldn’t get that “Leave It To Beaver,” myth of the 1950’s to come out right for me!
Outside The Box
What if there are no maps for successful relationship? Or no two maps alike? What happens when we break the mold, question tradition, toss out the shoulds? Why not let the past be history and create a brand new vision of a shared life — a life of purpose and contribution to one another and to the world. This vision of relationship may or may not look familiar. It is unique to each of us, and as fluid and open to inspiration, growth and change as we are. It is outside the box, possibly different from what we always imagined, and it is courageously creative!
The crafting of this kind of consciously designed, shared life calls first for self-knowledge: What do I believe in? What values serve as my compass? What am I passionate about? What must I accomplish in this lifetime in order to have few or no regrets? What’s fun? What scares me? What are my strengths and weaknesses? What brings me aliveness and joy? What supports me in being the best I can be? From the basis of this individual self-awareness, a life together can be designed, or re-designed, to reflect the mutual respect, support and celebration of one another’s full self-expression in the relationship, the family, and in the world.
I’m constantly in awe of how brave my clients are. Just a glimmer of the possibility that it’s okay, even imperative, to create truly authentic relationship touches into a deep knowing, a longing, that once awakened, can and does, accomplish anything. It really is possible, and thrilling, to step outside of the box of the known and create, or re-create a relationship that is dynamic, fun, and sustaining, and that provides the fertile soil for an ever-deepening union and fully expressed lives.
This challenging and important relationship work is beautifully affirmed by a wedding ceremony, commitment or re-commitment ceremony, that reflects a shared vision and an intentional, designed life. Brave new relationships in this uncertain world are greatly strengthened when held in the love and support of family, friends and community.